oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
