I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
