I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
