Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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