he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
