It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
