I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
