Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
