exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
