i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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