Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
