In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
