and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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