you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
