i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
