mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
