is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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