we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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