You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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