I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
