i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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