Sponge bath it is.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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