whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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