Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
