Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The struggles of a small town man whore
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
