Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
