he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
