he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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