it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish you could order shots online.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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