Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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