I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
