this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
