HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
