Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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