I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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