Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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(540): View more from Virginia

Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'

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(214): View more from Texas

Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

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(212): View more from New York

You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM

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(607): View more from New York

my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?

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