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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
being pregnant is like rehab
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
