How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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