Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize