I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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