using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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