whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
