It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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