Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
