I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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