Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
