is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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