i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
