R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
