She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
