how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
