i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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