i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
