Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
