You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
