I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
