yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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