toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize