my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
