I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
