FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
