The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Your penis caused this!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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