i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
