My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
