you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
