worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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