i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
