ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
