I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize