Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
