He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He better not be in your backpack
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
